Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
