omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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