Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
