glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
