Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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