I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
