He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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