so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
