so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
