just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
