Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
