Four minutes until I can fart!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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