Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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