4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
