Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
