This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
