Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
