I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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