Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize