Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
