yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
