Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I believe in your delicious
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
