She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
