Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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