there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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