I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
