there was a trapeze. enough said
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
