Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
