Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
