i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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