Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
