she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
