My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think your dad took our porno
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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