After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize