I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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