I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
