so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
