Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
