She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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