Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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