They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
