i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
