you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
