I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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