So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
