Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
