the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
