Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
