Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
