What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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