So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
