Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
