For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
