I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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