Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
