Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I love you.
Bad choice
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
