Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
