I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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