i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
