yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
