was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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